For several years now, we have been hearing that we create our own reality, and we create it with our attention, our thoughts and beliefs, and our intentions. We have busied ourselves with vision boards, attending courses and workshops on the Law of Attraction, and we can pretty much quote examples from the Abraham-Hicks publications on any occasion.
All this is good. Very good. Yet I find, while we may project visions of the future, most folks tend to trip up when it come to working with prevailing patterns -- existing relationships, present jobs, conclusions already concluded, self image .... and a host of other 'given' stuff. It is as if when we have determined something as 'given', we now have to give it power to continue its hold over us, and as if we no longer have the creative facility to alter that.
Jean and Jack's Story
Let me give you an example. Jean was totally stressed over her grandson Jack. She described Jack as mean, loud, undisciplined, bullying and requiring perpetual attention whenever he was with his other little cousins. Jack's mother allowed this and did not take the responsibility to discipline him...... and so forth. Then she told me that this child was her son's stepson and was only three and a half years old.
Wham!!! I almost fell off my chair. Why was this sixty some year old lady stressing herself out of shape on account of this one little tyke? What needed to change? Could it be her beliefs, her perceptions, her judgments, her complete inability to accept this boy and his mother as part of her family? I explained to Jean that the boy was sensing the energy of strong judgment and rejection the moment he stepped near her and got busy responding to it. That if Jean wished for a different response, she had to learn to put out a different vibration with her thoughts and feelings to invite it.
'Let's change the narrative that you have created around Jack', I invited. That is where we began. Jean and I worked over the next several weeks while she reprogrammed her beliefs, her story. Jack transformed in her mind from the horrible little terror to a child so deprived of attention and love that he would do do anything to get it. He needed caring, and careful attention -- neither indulgence, nor rejection -- the two he was most familiar with. So Jean decided it was possible for her to change her own attitude towards Jack.
It would be a lie if I told you that it was easy. The mind (read 'ego') loves to hold on to the stories it has authored. That is its default paradigm. No, it required Jean's constant alertness. It required that Jean recognize her own fears and learn to set them aside, that she learn to call upon the love in her heart in the face of the greatest odds. Jean prayed, meditated, used EFT and other resources to get her mind to cooperate with her new resolve. Fortunately for her, Jack being the sensitive child he was, immediately started to sense the difference. A little confused at first, he slowly quietened and then gradually changed certainly while with his adoptive grandmother.
This is not an isolated incident. I have seen tables completely turn around when people take charge of the energy they are projecting through their thoughts and beliefs. Relationships can change radically.
My own story.
In spite of teaching these principles in my mentoring program, I have to admit I fall from time to time. Like the time I was getting mad that a person who owed me money had been slacking and was way behind schedule. So I defaulted into my old patterns -- scarcity mindset, feeling dishonored, my work not valued. I allowed myself to at first be irritated and then downright angry.
Mind you all this toxic thought process can really drain your own energy and take a toll on you. So one morning I had to ask myself the question "What am I thinking? And how was it working for me?" Not good I thought. I had to change my mind. If I wanted things to be different, I had to get over this victim mindset -- 'It is all her stupid fault and I can't do anything except rave and rant'-- to something a little more wholesome.
I had a choice. I call this choosing our terms of engagement -- how do I wish to engage with this situation? Step one, get out of victim mode and accept your own role in the drama. Done. Step two: Accept things as they are and remove all judgement. That needed a little work --- 'who knows, may be she is going through a tough time, maybe she was laid off, she has every intention paying me but is otherwise busy (my mind's great need to rationalize)'. Eventually, I was able to accept.
I could have left it at that, but chose to go a step further, because I knew I could. I decided I was going to send her love and light in ways that I know to do, so that she may be lifted out of her funk and be able to honor herself and keep the promises she made. And that is what I did. Reclaimed not only my own power, but my ability to shift the energy. With the practice of Ho'oponopono that energy shifted and shifted swiftly. Within the day, my pending bill of multiple weeks was paid.
Trust me, this energy stuff is miraculous. Learn it. Practice it and watch your life become even richer. It's just that sometimes we have to work with energy beyond the mind in order to get the mind to change. Well worth it.
Your everyday spiritual living guide,
Creating the ability to see Wholeness