Friday, September 10, 2010

Jyoti's Dilemma on Receiving Gifts

Jyoti wrote: 'Sometimes I get gifts for which I have no use although the gifts in themselves may be beautiful and interesting. But now I want very few selective things around me. But I don't have the courage to tell people directly about this. Of course I drop hints. But that doesn't seem to be working. So what I do is give them away to someone else when an occassion comes like birthdays etc. Is this wrong ? Am I passing the good will and love of people unknowingly? I definitely donot want to accumulate things which I will never use. What is your advise ?'

Focus on the love, the concern, the connection the gift represents, and not on the thing per se. Receive with gratitude. Cherish the thought behind the gift and don't look merely for its utility value. Then feel free to keep it or give it away with love to someone who may have better use for it.

You may have to work through some of the old patterns of the mind. These may be your feelings of guilt, feeling of being disloyal to the person who gave it to you, or fear of 'what if they found out it was recycled' -- which is shame, feeling the need to reciprocate and so on. Watch as these sentiments come up. These are where your real resistance comes from. Let them go one by one.

You do not owe it to anyone to keep what they give you, or having to pay back. Choose to see it coming from unconditional love and refuse to surround it with conditionalities. It is yours to do what you please. Give yourself the freedom.

The other thing is don't hint. Either say it lovingly and trust they understand, or don't say anything at all if you think they may be hurt.

Remember, giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin. Know that if we cannot receive with grace and unconditionality, we probably are unable to give unconditionally too. A friend of mine suggests that we stop being 'stingy' receivers.

For guidance on everyday spiritual living join Malabika's Mentoship Program.

http://www.VisionWholistic.net
Creating the ability to see Wholeness

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