The Relationships Conundrum

Let’s face it. You have and will always be in relationships. If you are not then you are either an ascetic in a Himalayan cave or pretty dead – emotionally speaking. And if you are still breathing and walking about, you are also probably very depressed.

Joys, sorrows, excitements, frustrations, anticipations, attractions, repulsions, aggression, defensiveness --- a host of feelings and behaviors are triggered by relationships. Have you noticed? I certainly have. People often show up at my doorstep seeking succor because they are in bad relationships. Their bad relationship could be with their job (too demanding, too cheap, too suffocating, too boring), their boss (incompetent, prejudiced, plays favorites, political, never pleased), their daughter or son (too wild, too irresponsible, too sensitive, won’t grow up, won’t talk to me, too demanding) their mother, sister, father, brother……… you get the drift….

And of course, there is the significant other, the sexual partner, the mate, the alleged holder of the key to their emotional well-being and happiness. If you have been in one of those then you certainly know that all frustrations are multiplied umpteen times if they are triggered in this one relationship.

Here is the news for you, ladies and gentlemen, ye all who seek harmony and balance in your relationships. The state of harmony and balance in relationships feel wonderful when achieved, but it is a highly unstable state. It does not last long. It is not meant to. There is a reason why.

Relationships, like magnets, are held together by opposing energies – the masculine and the feminine. Each has a different flavor, a different function and a different characteristic. When these two energies come together powerfully they create something new and wonderful, which then becomes a platform for further growth. The forces come together again and again, each time at a new level for another creation. Between these bursts of creation the relationship feels blessed and in perfect harmony. Then the tension builds again for the next because at our very core is the need for creative pursuits and growth. Dynamism is what our spirit seeks in any relationship more than state of perpetual equilibrium.

We may have some understanding of the nature of these energy dynamics in the context of sexual relationships between a man and a woman. We have yet to learn how the same process may play out in all others aspects of our lives – between parents and children, siblings, professionals, friends, groups and so on.

In working with my clients I have discovered that a person may get into the same negative relationship pattern over and over again without a basic understanding of these energy dynamics. One may feel powerless and depressed. Or one may flit about from job to job, or relationship to relationship without being able to pursue any degree of depth or greater creative pursuits.

How are the energies playing out in your relationships? In all probability you will discover whenever a bad feeling arises there is competition -- male energies in the fore engaged in power mongering. Our feminine parts typically had fled the scene and hidden. No creative outcome is possible under these circumstances.

“I have been to many relationship counselors. No one has quite put it this way. It makes complete sense”, one my clients told me recently. He was fascinated at the energy dynamics at his work and at home. As he focused on learning the skills to take charge, shift and change it, he was excited that he no longer felt powerless in his relationships.

So I am excited to offer a course on relationships -- the masculine and feminine energy dynamics. It is relevant to you whether you are a man or a woman, whether or not you consider yourself in relationships.

If it is of interest to you, send me an email at Malabika@visionwholistic.net and I will happily send you the details.

Malabika -- Your Energy Healing Guide.


http://www.visionwholistic.net/

Creating the ability to see Wholeness

The Incalculable Price of Depression

Everyone gets depressed at some time or another. Something may come along, trigger a thought or a belief held in the unconscious mind and boom! -- We plunge into the depths of despair and depression. As we grow up we learn to recognize patterns, and for the most part create our own strategy to heave ourselves out of that dark space. Sometimes it lasts an hour, sometimes a day and sometimes perhaps longer.

During those times we know that we suffer. We can see that those who love us suffer around us. They may want to help but often do not know how. But what we may never have thought about and do not know is the immeasurable toll it takes on the collective unconscious.

The collective mind of human kind is on an evolutionary trajectory -- to that place of lightness, joy, love and peace -- high vibrational stuff. That is our natural pathway even at the individual level, is it not? Are we not all seeking that place of interminable happiness, we each in our own way? Depression is a drag on that. Every minute we allow ourselves to remain depressed, we are not only going in the reverse direction ourselves, we are also contributing our mite to the collective very depressed unconscious. Another layer is added on. That which was already dense and heavy gets a little heavier.

Allow? Allow did you say?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, being depressed is a matter of choice. No one told us this before. We all thought we had to react to negative stuff around us that we were unable to control, change or influence by being depressed, by surrendering our power, by compromising our goal to be happy and by accepting our victimhood.

That was before we learned that everything is energy including our thoughts and beliefs; and that repetitive thoughts become our deeply embedded unconscious beliefs. That was before we understood that depression is a symptom of our disconnection from our own true inner self -- our spirit. That was before we learned that there are no victims, only volunteers, no matter how unconscious that may be.

The onset of depression is a sure sign that we are done being victims, we are ready to connect with our own inner spirit and take our power back. Sure it will take a little time. Sure it will take a little help. Like a child learning to walk, we may lean on a friend from time to time. We may even pop a few pills now and again to take the edge off. But like every child we must eventually learn to stand, walk and run on our own two feet. Because if we do not, we remain spiritually invalid.

And think of it this way. Each time one of us is willing to exercise this choice, we add another shoulder to the wheel. And this time in the right direction, towards our collective joy. Isn't it cool that my little thoughts, choices and actions have such far reaching implications? They do. Everyone's do. Believe it.

Malabika offers a Mentoring Program, that supports individuals in stepping out of depression and into their own inner power. It starts with awareness of the realm of spirit and energy . It is about Spiritual Intelligence. To read more, visit this website.

http://www.visionwholistic.net/

Creating the ability to see Wholeness

Love or Control? Which Would You Choose?

Can a parent move from the overwhelming desire to direct and control when a son is clearly headed down the slippery slope? This is probably one of the greatest challenges of parenting.

I thought I would share this poignant story of Lily and her son James (not their real names).

A wonderful young man in his twenties, James has had the hardest time fitting into the system. This young man is sensitive, loving and kind and very creative -- not exactly the qualities society expects of a young man. Hence his trouble. At some stage, like others with similar difficulties, James started to flirt with drugs.

Lily moved through all the stages that any caring mother would. From the initial disbelief, to finally recognizing, and then supporting James in addressing the issue. She discussed, she persuaded, she cajoled, she explained, she reasoned, she bargained and eventually spelt out the riot act. Lily needed to do something, to fix it, to feel that in some way she could influence the boy's decisions. She needed him to be in control of his life so she could be on top of hers.

Despite his genuine resolve to set matters right, James was by now so deep into the mess that he required professional help. Lily offered to get him that too. But James would have none of it.

Lily had run out of options, alternatives, strategies for action. Nothing seemed to help. What now? 

At this critical juncture, Lily took a brave decision that few parents know how. She was not going to resign in anger and bitterness. She was not going to project her own insecurities and fears on James anymore. She would stop dwelling on the worst case scenarios.

Instead, Lily was going surrender to the process, and surrender with love. She recalled in her mind what a wonderful child James had been, the joys they had shared. She reminded herself that James had his own spiritual journey to follow that was not up to her to control. Her job was to love him and trust in his ability to find its way out of the maze. Her job was to be there when he needed her counsel and to respect his being.

This was a 180 degree turn around in mind set and attitude for Lily, not something that happens automatically, but with deep conviction and dedication. Lily was not about to take short cuts. Her son's future was at stake.

She used all the tools in her spiritual and energy healing toolbox to stay on track. Most of all she maintained her boundaries and made sure James had enough space to make his choices without her interference.

"Change the way you look at the world, and the world around you changes."  These are Dr. Wayne Dyer's wise words. It took about two weeks for the real change to take place in this case. Mother and son had barely been in touch during this period, both acutely aware of the need to respect the other’s boundary.

On that bitterly cold and rainy night Lily found herself becoming anxious about James's whereabouts. Not allowing her anxiety to overcome her, she sent him a short loving text message. It was as if she had just opened the door James had been waiting for. He reached out to her for help like never before. He was sick of being sick and tired. He was done with this kind of life. He wanted to change. In the space Lily had created for him, James had finally come to realize the depth of his despair, and also the fact that no one could help him unless he wanted to be helped. He was ready now.

A very relieved Lily was glad to provide the support she had for so long wished to give James. And now that there were no controlling shackles to push against, a very determined young man realized his rare good fortune that his mother was lovingly standing by to support him. 

He is well on his way to recovery. Doing could not accomplish it, loving did.

 Mentorship Program in Spiritual Intelligence at
http://www.visionwholistic.net/

Creating the ability to see Wholeness

April was Fun

Why? Because beautiful Ms Ariana was here.

And I got to be full time grandmother for the entire month. Loved it.

http://www.visionwholistic.net/

Creating the ability to see Wholeness

Creating Heart Space

The heart is an amazing organ. It is responsible for much more than pumping blood. Recent research is uncovering the true power of the heart in helping us heal and deal with our environment.

When we are able to perceive a situation from the energy of the heart, it magicallly changes its flavor. For the better. A situation that may have been stressing us, seems to lose its bite. We can move relationships from ones that drain us to energizing ones.

This short little meditation (11 min.) gives us some tools to start creating that. Enjoy.

Click here to download the Heart Space Meditation.

http://www.visionwholistic.net/
Creating the ability to see Wholeness

Good Wishes Galore

This morning I was talking to a lady who was telling me about her exciting journey into spirituality and how her life is beginning to change as she learns to apply the spiritual principles and practices. Then she follows it up with ‘I wish more people were doing this. Life in the world then would be so much better.’

Back in ’05, I remember, a group of us were studying ‘A Course in Miracles’. After a particularly illuminating lesson one day, one of the participants threw up his hands in the air and asked incredulously, “why are there only 14 of us here? I wish there were 1400”.

And just now I read my friend Tom’s FB post starting up with “I wish more humans would understand……..”.

This is the wonderful nature of the human being. We are constantly searching for something better and as we discover something we deeply resonate with, we promptly want the entire world to share it, to buy into it, to start living by it. The fellows who have learned to make more money in a simpler way, can hardly wait to show us how. From cleaning houses to teaching children to finding spiritual solace, we are so eager to spread it out and wish others would absorb and embrace what we have just discovered. Have you noticed? Isn’t it wonderful?

And they will. This is the way of evolution. We learn, we wish, we teach, we plant seeds, we carry on. The more we wish the more it comes true. The stronger our desire the sooner it happens.

It is sure to happen. Just don’t hold your breath as to when and how. And release all attachments to what it ‘should’ look like. You have set forth a desire. The universe must honor it divinely timed.

So keep wishing folks. Good wishes galore.

Malabika Shaw
Your Spiritual Intelligence Guide


http://www.visionwholistic.net/

Creating the ability to see Wholeness

Finding it hard to meditate?

For all those people who think that it is hard to meditate. Nicole lays it all out. Brilliantly. You'll be surprised.

Nicole on meditation and no ego.
Enjoy.

Malabika

http://www.visionwholistic.net/

Creating the ability to see Wholeness